new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
