i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
