i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
