i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
