Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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