You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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