remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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