i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
