So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
