You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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