Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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