I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
