Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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