In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
