So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
