you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
