you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
