Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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