Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
