Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
