omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
