Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
