I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
