there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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