do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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