Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
