I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
