Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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