CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
