he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
