i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
