WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
