I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
