It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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