Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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