my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
