wakey wakey hands off snakey
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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