playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My ass is underappreciated
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
