Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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