Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
