i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
