i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
