shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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