So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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