Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
