he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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