Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
