: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
