Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
