the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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