rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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