Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
